Saturday, July 24, 2010

Parents Having Sex

 It finally happened~ we are the "Old Gross Parents".

 My dad has been sick this summer and the whole fam damily is at the cabin~ 21 of us (the 4 daughters and all of our children/spouses) There isn't much sleeping space left and Dave and I have been assigned a couch to share. Luckily it is pretty long, and we can sleep toes to nose. Above that couch is a loft with two twin beds. My eldest daughter,Sarah, (22) and her significant other are sleeping up there. Essentially we are in the same room with them.

This morning, as said oldest baby was munching on her dry cheerios, she looked deep in thought. She was sitting in an easy chair across from me. Suddenly she spouted out "Did you and Dave have sex last night, Mom? And if you did I am NEVER speaking to you again. EVER."

"What?" I ask in disbelief.

"I heard noises." Sarah said, clearly upset.

"What?!" I ask again.

"I heard laughing", She said with a serious look on her face.


"OK, phew!!!! That's what I thought. I mean, I knew you didn't, but I kept thinking- what if you did?? I couldn't sleep mom...that's SO gross!!! You are SO old!!! I was NEVER going to speak to you again...I thought you thought we were sleeping. I couldn't sleep ALL NIGHT. I even had to go over and wake up Chris. I hit him in the head with a book and asked him if he thought you guys were having sex. He said "NO, go to sleep". It really scared me mom."

"OK, Sarah. Calm down. Sick! I have 5 children which means I've only done that 5 times. I've never had a miscarraige."

My sister walks in at this point and wants to know what's going on. I filled her in. She says, "Sweetie, your mom and Dave only have sex once a year. I know how often all of my sisters have sex. I highly doubt last night was the chosen night with you in the same room."

"THANK YOU, Mary! There. Do you feel better yet?"

Once Sarah got over thinking about the possibility of her old gross parents having sex...she went outside. Meantime, Dave comes in and I filled him in on the drama. hahahahaha Next thing we know...Sarah comes back into the livingroom. Dave looks at me and says lovingly: "Honey, thanks again for last night." I think she threw up a little bit in her mouth.


  1. LMAO, Jenny!! Keep 'em coming!

  2. Poor baby, how scary to think her P's might actually love each other!!!! OMG...she may have never recovered!

  3. haha too funny!!!

    - Chris