Monday, August 2, 2010

The Milkbone Diet

Parenting techniques change from generation to generation.  That's also true for each subsequent child.

When my first baby dropped her pacifier on the floor, I would diligently put a pot of water on the stove.  When it came to a rolling boil I would submerge it for a minimum of 5 minutes~ after all, boiling water is the ONLY thing that will kill germs, right?

With baby #2, she would get her paci/toy rinsed off under some running water--all of the germs would be safely rinsed down the drain.

Baby #3, who was a true pacifier ADDICT, would get her suck-suck (as we call them in our family) wiped-off on my jeans.

Baby #4 would get the 5 second rule (or maybe 10).  If it falls to the floor for less than 10 seconds, it doesn't count, you're good to go.

Baby #5.  Well...let me tell you about baby #5.

Signe was born in August of 2000.  Not quite a year later we got our first puppy.  Naturally, Corduroy (yes, this German Shepard/Chinese Fighting Dog mix is named after the teddy bear with a missing button--though some call him "Cujo".) liked Milkbones.  He would lie on the carpet and chew his Milkbone and small pieces would fall from his mouth.  The problem was, Signe would sit by him and wait for the chunks to fall.  Anxiously, she would snatch up these chunks and eat...

Now, I'm not totally a reckless mother.  At her one year check up, I confessed of her diet to her pediatrician.  The doctor said "No biggie...there is nothing inedible in Milkbones".  So with her blessing, Signe ate Milkbones for 8 years.  Last year came a big disappointment.  We opened a brand new box of Milkbones and right away Signe let us know, "They changed the formula".  She has never had one since.


  1. And may i add our dog Corduroy also refuses treats of the milkbone sort... he also could tell they changed the formula!!

  2. hahaha, this is hilarious. Well written!